Practical Jokes And Things

The Thief of Always, Prompt #5

I remember one time, I made my stepdad cry. We all remember going through that phase, when you're about eight, you don't want listen to anyone, no matter who it is, right? Well, I'm still kind of going through that phase. Anyway, he told be to do something that I didn't want to do. It was probably something really stupid, considering the fact that I don't even remember what he told me to do. Whatever it was that he said, it made me mad. When I'm angry, most of the time, I strike back silently, psychologically, and that's exactly what I did. I went upstairs to my room and called his cellphone from the house phone, making sure that I dialed *67. He answered the phone.

"Hello?" I could almost imagine him sitting on the couch in the living room, watching T.V, only prepared to half listen to what I was saying.

"Yeah, is this James?" I deepened my voice, because I thought it would disguise the way I really sounded; like an eight year old girl. It seemed to work, though.

"Yeah. Who's this?"

I turned the phone away from me for a moment so I could laugh my success off, silently, of course. "You know who this is."

I heard him sigh before saying, "No, I don't. That's why I asked who this was."

I stifled another laugh before replying, "Stop playing, man. You know who this is." I didn't give him the chance to say anything else. "Where's my money, James?"

"I don't have your money. Why would I have your money? Who is this?"

"You know who this is. Tell me where the money is. I gave you the dope, you give me the money. That's the deal we had."

He didn't speak for a minute, then he finally said, "You mean dope, like, drugs?"

I smiled, playing the part. "Yes. You good now? We're finally on the same page?" I didn't wait for him to respond. "Good. But I really want my money, James. I'm outside." I moved out of my room to the top of the stairs, straining to hear if he'd gotten up to look or not. Apparently, he had.

"I don't see you." He sounded as if he was doubting me.

"I'm out back, you idiot. You think I'd want to have to kill you in front of a bunch of witnesses? Don't even bother coming out until you have to money." With that, I hung up. I waited a minute, then went downstairs to see how the call had worked on him.

When I got into the living room, I saw him pacing back and forth in front of the T.V, tears streaming down his face. I broke out laughing. It was just too perfect.