Why?

I feel so alone in this world, no matter how many people are around me, talking to me. All their words bleed together into an orb of sound that I want so badly to avoid. I am better off alone, and people don't understand that until I am forcing myself away from them, isolating myself. I suppose you could say it was my fault for staying involved, but, while I enjoy my solitude, I can't bring myself to hurt their feelings. So I try to leave hints that I'm broken, too broken to put back together, and no one wants me. No one should want me. Just leave me alone. When I'm alone, I'm better. All I need is myself, solitude, and the words of authors and lyricists to keep me alive. Barely alive, but when am I actually going to be alive, anyways? I'm always barely above the surface of the water, barely breathing, and one day, someone is going to push me under and hold me there until I die. All our lives, us humans stumble and trudge through our lives, searching for things like happiness, peace. There is only one place that you can actually find these things; in your mind. If you spend your whole life, searching for something like an apparition, that will never really be there, I must say, you're stupid. These things only exist in you head. They aren't real. If you can finally come to terms with that, and find that happiness that you've been searching for somewhere in the back of you mind, buried in a dusty, old chest, then you might actually be going somewhere. I know I'm not.