Recipient: Little Rita

I dreamed to be here my whole life, since I can remember. I worked myself to death to get to the point where I was confident enough to audition. And I finally made it. Now, however, it feels like I don't want to be here anymore, and that hurts a lot. When what you've worked for literally your whole life feels like it has no meaning to you anymore, it kills a little piece of you inside. It killed the little girl inside of me. She had big dreams for me; she more than anyone else. She did all the work to get the future half of herself to where she knew she had to be. Now, I feel like I'm destroying the path that she paved with my own selfish decisions, and I am so sorry. I can't tell her that I"m going to change overnight, but I hope she knows I'm trying. From now on, what I do, I'm not doing it for me. I'm not doing it to pacify my mother, I"m not doing it to satisfy my teachers or my mentors; I'm doing it for her. She deserves to look at me now and know that she struggled and bled, but it wasn't in vain. This is for her.